When I know I am going to blog I typically have the perfect opening statement. This time I have nothing but silence to be frank. I am currently sitting in my chair fully loaded with excellent reclining features. To my left is my bag. You know the Rituxan bag. I was given tons of steroids, benedryl and tylenol to which I found myself almost floating. My nurse Christy started my rituxan about 30 minutes ago. Going very slow for my first dose which is 500 mg. Another 1000 mg on Nov 22nd.
Lets go back to the beginning. When we first arrived I was sent to the 4th foor. The chemo therapy wing. Walking down the long hallway that lead to the Chemo Infusion wing it all got real. I sat down next to a woman with beautiful light blue eyes. Striking like the ocean. Her name was Donna. Donna is currently battling breast cancer. She proudly wore a beautiful scarf around her head to hide the loss of hair from the chemo. We shared a smile and waiting for our names to be called. I sat directly in front of the automatic door. Every time it opened I could hear the thoughts of those sitting having their treatment. Some full of worry, some exhaustion, some napping like they are on vacation. She asked me what I was partaking in today as far as my "cocktail" goes. I told her Rituxan for MS. She had the kindest eyes and assured me I would do great and that I am in great hands. Something about this woman just captured me from the moment I sat next to her. Kindness, love in a reassuring way. Like she knew everything that was going through my head. All my worry, all my concerns, all my apprehensions, every feeling I had she knew somehow. I could just see it in her eyes. Donna knew and I felt comfort in knowing this.
So far I can see that everyone is so kind and informative. My nurse was amazing and came to check my vitals every 30 mins; making it difficult for me to fall asleep much but hey at least I was assured my heart rate was normal. My blood pressure was a bit on the low side which was interesting considering I'm typically wound tighter than a top waving my Italian flag. The hardest part in my opinion was the high doses of Benadryl which made me feel like I was drunk and stoned at the same time. It was a bit overwhelming considering I don't drink and only use very low amounts of THC with High CBD to combat pain and trouble sleeping. The Benadryl lasted for about an hour or so where I could barely keep my head up. But between that, the steroids and the tylenol it was smooth sailing for the initiation of the Rituxan. Bring on the chemo!
As soon as it started I felt like I was waiting for a bomb to go off. After reading so many testimonies of peoples reactions to this drug I knew in my head the list of possibilities that could possibly await me. Yet thankfully I got nothing but some very itchy ears and throat and minor congestion that lasted about 30-45 minutes. Overall the process was very easy and today being the day after I oddly enough don't feel very terrible given the circumstance but as the day goes on I will pace myself. It's the automatic natural reaction for "waiting for the other shoe to drop".
So far so good. I got this. We all got this. One day at a time.
- A Hot MS