Part of dealing with a chronic illness and disability is setting boundaries. Boundaries such as:
*limiting a crazy schedule*organizing a game plan for housework
*managing your kids schedules and activities
*putting in solid sleep and rest requirements
*sticking to a solid healthy diet (which we try to maintain let's be honest)
*maintaining a vitamin regime (and not forgetting to take them for days on end)
We know all of these things yet one factor we often forget to implement is setting boundaries for the toxic people in our lives. This seems harder than not forgetting take your vitamins doesn't it? How exactly do you set boundaries with people in your lives that wish you harm? Seems easy if it's a co-worker, neighbor, friend. We try everything from expressing our feelings, our concerns, or avoiding them all together and putting a cap of the interaction. We learn the "lesson" of this acquaintance and move on with our lives or limit how much we open up to that person.
What do we do when that person happens to be a direct family member? How do we cope with this? I have heard horror stories from other MS warriors, close friends of mine and other family members of having this issue. How exactly do you put a cap on a direct family member? Brother? Sister? Mother? Father? I myself would be lost without the 4 of my parents. I am blessed beyond belief to have 2 Mothers and 2 Fathers that love me and most of all love EACH OTHER.
Part of dealing with this disease is keeping stress to a minimum which now a days almost seems impossible. We want to please everyone and make everyone happy. We tend to steer away from conflict and tip toe around the truth. I personally find it best to be upfront and honest. We can never expect someone else to know exactly how we feel unless we communicate this to them. I'm not saying begin a bash-fest but expressing one's emotions is a healthy, adult function that we all should be open minded to explore.
Watching someone you love being torn apart by someone they love and thought had their best interest for them is no easy task. It only causing more stress on yourself and your loved one. Maintaining one's sanity can be tricky during a pressure cooker time like this. We must remind ourselves we are not door mats. Expressing those limits is acceptable and if they are not being respected removing that person from your life is not necessarily a bad thing.
I'm not blogging this because I have all of the answers. I'm simply expressing that it does not make you a bad person to remove toxicity from your life. You're number one goal is to protect your family and maintain a healthy and happy home environment. Let's be honest here. We have enough to worry about in life right? Not breaking out into tremors at the office, not face planting into the curb outside Starbucks, praying that our next MRI is clear of new lesions. We are already at war with our bodies. We should not be at war with people in our lives am I right?