I’m not one to share too much detail about my personal life. I share anything and everything about my MS because that’s my goal as an advocate. To raise awareness, to educate, to inspire, to widen perception. When I think about advocacy for MS there is a lot more to it than just sharing about the disease. MS is like an onion. Layer and layers of factors. Tons of moving parts. Our personal life plays a huge factor into those layers and the outcome of our disease. I knew that stress can play a huge role in how our MS acts on a day to day basis. It’s not uncommon to experience worsening symptoms during times of stress. But how do we avoid stressful situations all together? Well, we can’t. It’s life. We are all going to experience stressors in life. Our garage door will break costing us an unexpected $600 in repairs. Maybe we get the call from school that our kid smacked another kid. Or maybe we got our peach chewed out at work by our boss. Anything can happen.
So how can we navigate through a stressful situation without sending our MS into orbit? This is really something I’ve recently been looking more closely at in my life. Stress hits me hard. I lead through life with my heart and hold my problems close. I absorb stress with my entire body, mind and soul and it can be quite catastrophic. Actually, it’s more of a colossal disaster. I would notice that my body would function in bizarre ways after a stressful event. Strange buzzing or vibration sensations in the left side of my face, leg weakness, increased slurred speech directly following the incident or even abrupt bladder dysfunction. It wasn’t a coincidence that I had 3 bladder accidents the same week that my step child had 2 incidents at school and 4 meltdowns at home. It’s as if my body goes into hyper awareness mode and can’t operate normally. This can also cause a huge build up of resentment. We deal with enough with MS by itself but adding crazy chaos and stress into the mix definitely creates a reserved space for resentment and frustration.
So where is the solution? Well, there are a million different answers to this question as not everyone will have the same solution. Not a one size fits all situation. But I’m happy to share what works for me lately. I know myself well. I carry emotions regardless of how heavy they are. I’ve become excellent at advocating for time alone to regroup and reset. I am my own best date and love to be alone. Time alone allows me to recharge, refocus and center myself so I don’t fly off the handle which will end up worsening my ms symptoms. I don’t feel guilty asking for that space anymore. I definitely used to. I’m figuring out how to trick myself out of carrying the stress. Maybe with sitting in my office with music and a neon light to give a relaxing ambient glow. Showers have always been cathartic to me. A sort of cleanse away the bs ritual. Setting boundaries has been the most impactful change I could have made hands down. I am much more comfortable verbalizing those boundaries and putting them into practice. I think it’s vital to have enough self awareness to realize when your body may start to shift into stress mode. Being aware is first. Taking action to veer from disaster is second.
Set time aside to calmly discuss whatever situation needs resolution. Maybe that won’t even be for a week later. Go into it with a level mindset and with less emotion. Emotions can cloud judgment at times. I like to look at stress resolution like i’m managing a business. Takes the heart string factor out of the game and allows me to focus on the best way to navigate around something challenging. Being open minded also helps reduce tension. Combating stress with ego and arrogance won’t work either. So humble out! We all screw up and certainly aren’t perfect. Let things roll. Was the $600 garage repair bill fun? Nope. But we can shift other bills around to accommodate to avoid possible garage decapitation. True story. The more we allow the stress to enter our bodies the more our MS will wreak havoc on our bodies. Don’t give stress too much energy. Stress is like fear. It loves to be fed. So sometimes you have to starve it instead.