I never thought that I would have to blog about the topic I'm about to embark on. Yet after contemplating for a few hours today I have found that getting it off my chest is better than keeping it bottled up. Social Media is really a love hate relationship. We live in a world now where it's such a main form of communication and is the platform for marketing and job opportunities. We connect with old friends from high school and catch up with old best friends that live on opposite sides of the country. We sneak to see what kinda of car our stuck up co worker got recently and we stalk our 17 year old daughter to see who she's talking to on Facebook. We use technology and online marketing to promote our new line of organic dog treats and learn how to make the perfect prime rib. You can pretty much learn how to do anything from just YouTubing it.
But when does social media become a weapon? We hear horror stories of young girls and boys being victims to cyber bullying and who take their lives because of such abuse. It's easier to type threats and click enter after telling someone the world would be better without them in it. We don't hear these things being said as often in a verbal sense but it seems people are unfortunately not afraid to get "click happy" or even "type happy". They are so powerful behind their I-Phone X or cracked 2005 Dell 13 inch laptop. Nothing can stop them from making their next move yet there are those on the other end of the screen that are basically waiting for a bomb to go off.
I've never been one to get into social media rants. I don't post anything political and I do not engage into controversial conversations. Everyone has an opinion right? Why even get involved in a back and forth battle of power? When I was first diagnosed I figured the best thing I could do was surround myself with others like myself going through their Multiple Sclerosis Journey. I would be able to hear their experience and feel not so alone. I was in the beginning of a downward spiral in the beginning so I was honestly willing to try anything to avoid my emotional and physical explosion of self destruction. I found quite a few support groups specifically on Facebook. My Mom recommended a few that she was a member of due to my Dad's Primary Progressive MS. So I gave it a shot.
After a few weeks scrolling through the posts I noticed I was seeing a pattern. A negativity cloud seems to loom over the posts. So many posts of people being saddened and negative, plagued with unfortunate events and most of which that were not even MS related. Today my dog died...today I lost my favorite lipstick...my husband is cheating on me again...I have an ingrown hair. I am certainly not trying to sound un-compassionate here but I was in the mainframe that the purpose of the support group was to educate, inspire and build up others living with MS. Was my interpretation incorrect here? I found myself quickly being turned off by the constant petty party I was seeing in the news feed. There was no positivity or at least it was rare in occasion. I wanted to find a page that was uplifting one another. That was taking less than perfect situations and turning them into something powerful and beautiful and I wasn't really finding this in one group in particular whom will go un-named because again I don't get involved with online drama. Not my place to judge but I will certainly use my blog as a tool of self expression.
Months later I found myself hiding the posts from my news feed. I figured the group was there if I ever needed to search for an answer regarding a medication or another personal experience but still never utilized the group for such things. 7 months after joining this one specific group I opened up a very disturbing message from one of the admins of the page. The message informed me that my comments were abusive and harassing to other group members and that they were blocking me from their group and page. One comment in particular accusing me of cyber attacking a new mother and new new born saying "how dare you bring a child into the world with MS. That is child abuse and border line psychotic." I continued to read the allegations against me and tears ran down my face as the words I was reading were full of so much hatred and evil. I noticed that I was not the only profile this message was directed to but to another FB profile as well. I was confused, horrified and upset to say the least.
I immediately wrote the admin back saying "I think you have made a huge mistake as I would never say such things even to my enemy. I am a motivational speaker, writer, songwriter, Wife, Mother and Christian." I am a woman that takes her integrity very seriously and that my word is everything. My reputation is important to me and my moral compass even more so. I was able to start my own investigation as to why I would have received a message like this. I found the other admin users and was able to reach out to them explaining my hurt as to why I was being accused of such terrible things and that they have made a huge mistake. I have worked very hard to build a name for myself as an MS advocate as well as a disability advocate sharing my story and empowering others.
After spending hours waiting for a reply I found myself participating in a circus of back and forth defense for myself. Sending photos of all of my FB profiles and defending myself. I was told that all of the admins were under the impression that this "other Fb profile" also belonged to ME. This other FB page was the one airing all of this harassment and hatred towards other group members. How they associated myself with this page was beyond my understanding. After hours of back and forth and me finally telling them that if they don't remedy this they will have charges for slander against them they were able to find that in fact that other FB profile belonged to someone else and they made a mistake; which I already knew. It was a whole day of trying to prove my innocence. Turns out that that specific FB profile had shared a live feed of mine of their page months prior so from an admin quickly looking at their page it appeared to have my name linked. The assumed quickly that the page also belonged to me. After numerous photos as proof, continual messages back and forth and a mini stress flare up they knew they made a mistake.
The admins apologized of course but I took it very lightly. I requested that they remove me from their group permanently because I did not want to be associated with any group or organization that made mistakes such as this. This was in my eyes unforgivable unfortunately and I may be in the wrong for not accepting such apologies but I was sticking to my guns here on this one.
I know that a mistake of this caliber affected my body and stress levels for the day this only makes me think that those who are cyber bullied only feel a billion times worse. How do you process this? How do you defend yourself? All you can do is frantically type back and try to convince the opposing party they are wrong. But what good does it do? You are talking or "typing" to blind eyes. Social Media is such an incredible tool now but we need to not abuse it and take advantage of the power we are given. It's so easy to spread a rumor about someone. To post a hateful photo. To abuse someone with our words with zero retaliation for our actions. To make a false quick judgment by recklessly glancing at a FB profile and then making terrible accusations against someone by mistake.
I honestly view Social Media in the same way I view cars. When we are behind the wheel we must handle the automobile with caution and care. Don't run red lights and follow the speed limits. A vehicle is a weapon and lives can change within seconds. Social Media is no different. We should always be handling our accounts with caution and care and stay in the safe zone. Just like behind the wheel of a car we hold so much power. We hold the same amount of power behind a keyboard. Type wisely. Be kind. Be supportive. Encourage one another. Don't be on social media to play the victim. We all have ailments and short comings yes but we are here to boost the other fellow...not to destroy them.