Whether you’ve been recently diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis or you consider yourself to be proficient in the disease, the magnitude of symptoms we encounter can be very similar across the board. While MS is considered to be the “Snow Flake” disease in the essence that no 2 patients are alike, we can all agree that we all share more in common than we like to admit. I remember during my diagnosis period honestly feeling like I should have been compensated with some sort of goody bag or spa day voucher.
You’re thrown into a vortex of medical terminology you don’t yet understand and are ping ponged back and forth between diagnostic testing and exams. Yet, you’re supposed to keep it all together as best you can? It can almost seem like we are immediately being set up to fail doesn’t it? Our bodies are already going through an array of symptoms and neurological reactions just because our immune system didn’t get the “you’re supposed to fight the enemy, not yourself” memo.
But what about the emotional side of the coin? Depression is a major factor in patients living with Multiple Sclerosis and I feel it is one of the symptoms that is discussed the least. I myself have struggled with depression since my diagnosis with MS in 2019. Now add in the factor of being a people pleaser and you have a whole new level of disaster on your hands. The two definitely don’t mix. It’s easy to fall into a dark place where you want to curl up and never retreat from. But knowing the healthy approach and the recluse approach can make a world of difference when navigating through some nasty depression.
Realize you are entitled to “Out of Order” days- Meaning, if you need a day or two or three to shut yourself out to heal, then by all means Binge watch your fav show on the sofa, grab your favorite snack and turn that phone off! You can’t be there for anyone when you’re not at your best.
Limit those expectations…of yourself!- People pleasers tend to fall apart when they can’t help others. I know from personal experience. It’s ok if asked for some advice to reply “I want to be my best to help you through this but right now I’m under construction.”
Be honest! Nobody is judging you!- Share your experience with depression with those around you. No I don’t mean bombard your boss before a huge meeting with your story of despair but open up when the time is right and you feel comfortable expressing yourself to friends or family.
Break that stigma!- There is this ugly stigma still attached to people being upfront about their mental health which I’ve never understood completely. It’s just as important as physical health yet we’ve been taught generation after generation that it’s still a “hush hush” topic. The more we share the more common it becomes. Take those baby steps in sharing what you’re really feeling and chances are the person you’re sharing with has felt the same way.
Be proud of yourself!- It’s not easy to share something imperfect or what may seem “embarrassing” about yourself. So when you do decide to share, be proud of yourself! That took a lot of guts!
Depression can make anyone feel alone and worthless. I know this firsthand. It can be the result of anyone living with MS or even be a side effect of the medication we take for MS. Regardless, talk to your Dr, loved ones, family and friends. Explore all possible solutions for therapy and treatment and know that you’re not crazy and there’s nothing wrong with you!
Let me repeat myself. Say it with me. “I’m not crazy and there’s nothing wrong with me!” After all, they never gave us the “Guide to Depression” in our diagnostic goody bag.
Love,
