Often the “alternatively abled” which is my better way of saying “disabled” are viewed as not capable or self-sustained. That we are weak and need constant assistance. I run into this often with random strangers and even friends. Of course, I am very appreciative, but I find that from the randoms of the world it always comes off as a pity party towards me. Let me break it down further so you better understand.
Ok you pull up to work and you have your purse or briefcase, your walking stick or mobility aid and of course your morning smoothie or coffee. Three items…two hands. So, you juggle your bag or briefcase in one hand tucked under your arm sandwiched in your little pit area while using that same side’s hand to house your morning beverage of choice while you utilize your opposing free side to rock your walking cane. I hope I’m painting the picture successfully here. You then get out of your car and gentle use your “good” leg to slowly close your car down. You walk up to your building and quickly shift your weight to your “good” side (the side you are holding you walking stick with) and quickly grab the door handle to swing it open carefully but swiftly. It’s a juggling act BUT you have now managed to successfully get out of your car without falling or spilling your Iced Grande Almond Milk Latte all while opening your own door.
I found myself in a rather strange scenario last week. I pulled off this “juggling act” with great success but as I was opening the door to my building a gentleman was walking up behind me. Instead of letting the door close on him I waited until he walked up the stairs and held the door open for him. He replied with a rather shocked and surprised “Wow, thank you for actually doing that!” As if he was shocked to see someone with a physical disability assisting someone of a “Normal” physical caliber. It was almost as if someone homeless bought someone with a salary a coffee. I guess we don’t see that too often, right?
In other situations, I have found myself getting special attention or extra attention if you will. Such as cutting to the front of lines, so I am not standing as long when I am accompanied by my fabulous leopard walking cane. While this is a sweet and concerning gesture in the same manner it almost brings upon a “help me help me, I need special attention” sort of vibe. Though yes, I would absolutely need assistance when it comes to certain things but waiting in a grocery store line for 3.75 minutes is not going to cause my myelin to deteriorate in front of the cashiers eyes. And it certainly won’t stop me from using the candy section at the conveyor belt as a mobility aid to lean up against.
Don’t DIS the ABLED…meaning don’t underestimate us. Don’t think we are victims. We are not victims. We are fully capable monster human beings and we function just like anyone else does but alternatively. It’s like most men stand up to pee…yet there is a percentage of men who enjoy the relaxation of sitting down while they empty their bladder. Just like you carry a pizza box with your two available hands and I have learned to balance the box on my head like an Island Goddess while I use one hand to open the door and the other to direct my walking cane.
Where this is a will there is a way….figure it out…make your adjustments and make it work baby!