Who wants to hear that they are losing ability of one of their limbs? Nobody. You notice the little things you never had to really think about before all of a sudden before so aware in your mind to achieve movement. Putting on clothes, walking down the stairs, standing for long periods of time, getting up to fast. You have to change the way you think. Act with Caution at all times. I often at times think I just need permanent caution tape around me. Or an inner tube so people don't bump into me and knock me over.
I was never the most graceful human being to begin with. But over the course of the last year before even knowing about my diagnosis I had noticed strange things. Dragging my left food, tripping constantly, my leg being very weak and extra tired; as if it was mad at the right leg and just said "meh, I don't wanna work today, sorry". Thinking back even friends noticed it to. "You seem to be walking a little sluggish. Is everything okay?" Now I got it all.
I test my ability daily. Trying to hold my leg up more and strengthen it but it's definitely losing more ability all the time. I told myself I wouldn't start to use walking canes until it was really necessary but that time frame came sooner than expected. I had been putting so much pressure and strain on my right leg due to over compensated from the lack of ability of my left. My right hip and knee was getting worse daily also from working too hard. If Selma Blair can make it look hot so can I. Rock that Cane!
I went on Amazon and ordered one of those bad boys. Cute white one with black spots. Kind of like if a dalmatian used a cane. He would use this cane. It was fashionable and it screamed me so complete your purchase was clicked and off it went on its way to yours truly.
I tested it out and immediately noticed that my right side felt better not being used as hard as it had been. I kept asking with fear to my husband if I was still sexy using a cane. He laughed at me and said "Hunny you could be wearing a trash bag in a two canes and I would still think you're sexy!" So my fear was gone in this department. The sexy 30 year old that uses a cane.
You get nervous thinking what are people going to think you know? I look on the outside like a perfectly healthy young woman. Little did they know my neurological system was giving them the stink eye from my insides.
It was an adjustment for sure. But it was helping so I kept using it. I've been using a cane for a little over a month now and it really has made a difference. It's my security blanket to use when I feel like I may fall. I feel more comfortable knowing it's there in case I lose my balance and go tip tip boom. But of course you're always going to get those looks. She's young. Why does she need a cane? Did you recently have surgery? Did you hurt your leg? I've learned replying with short answers is better than explaining a long drawn out story. I go with "MS Baby!" with a smile. Multiple Sclerosis heck yah!
I try not to use it all day long. Just for those extra long walks down the hallway at my office or when I walk to my car or especially walking around doing some retail therapy.
Below is the link to Fashionable Canes. A great website where you can find them in pretty much any style you desire. Great prices too!
I'm learning to love everything about myself. Even what may seem odd to others. If it's going to keep me upright and from going tip tip boom then I don't care if I used a flamingo to hold myself up. I would go to the Zoo and stash one of those pinkies into a bag and take him home with me to use as a walking device. Whatever works.
You have to be proud of who you are. Even the scars. I have scars and I love them. I embrace them because they have molded me into the woman I am today and would not change anything about my past for a second. I would not feel the same way about life that I do now if my life had alteration. You can not view a cane, a walker or a wheelchair as something that chains you down. Break every chain. Throw them away. Negative stigmas are chains. Peoples judgements are chains. Hate for yourself are chains. Self doubt, chains. Self pitty, chains. Break every chain and thrive in what makes YOU beautiful. If people judge you. Let them! That is their right. They can and WILL judge you. I promise you. Let them right on their choo choo train of negativity and go corrupt someone elses life. You own the railroad and know how to re route that train so it comes no where near you when it goes off the tracks.
So if you are using a cane, a walker, are in a wheelchair or figured out how to use a flamingo as a device for balance and mobility, be PROUD of it. Use it with pride. Roll in pride. We are beautiful. We are special. We are unique. We are one of a kind and there is NOBODY out there like us. We are snowflakes. No two the same.
Do not be ashamed for using tools to better yourself. A cane or wheelchair is no different than applying make up, eating healthy or buying a pair of comfortable shoes. They make us feel better and make us healthy. Own who you are. You get one YOU. Might as well make it the best version of YOU you possibly can. Nobody is going to do it for you. Sure people and things may bring joy and happiness to your life but YOU are solely responsible for your own happiness.