Self love is a very hard concept to wrap our heads around at times. It's so easy for us to say I love you to family, friends, the dog, co-workers even. Has the phrase lost meaning? Has it really become so simple to say that we make so light of it now a days and the words have less weight to them? We throw these 3 words out there like we say hello. With no care or protection. Yet when it comes to telling ourselves "I love you" we look at you like you have three heads or as if we were just asked to build a house with a tube of glue and tooth picks. It can be done but it will really take a while to achieve this. As does self love. It's not easy to achieve. It takes great care and are always countless steps involved.
Like being on a plane and we are asked to put on our masks first in the event of an emergency and then assist children. We got this down. Yet when it comes to applying this to everyday life we seem to continue to fall short.
Wake up, gets the kids ready for school, pack lunches, make breakfasts, feed dog, clean up dog messes, get dog to stop eating house plants, take kids to school, fight for pump at gas station, fight for parking spot at smoothie shop, get to work, drop smoothie in parking lot, work a full day, eat a frozen lunch that you're pretty sure expired weeks ago but it doesn't look questionable yet, drive home in traffic, dodge some idiot pulling out in front of your car, get home, take the fastest shower known to man to wash the filth of your day off, make dinner, convince your daughter to eat her greens or you will hang her by your arms from the chandelier, pick up dinner, clean up kitchen, feed dog, sit on coach, stop dog from eating house plants again, sit back down, yell up stairs for kids to turn off the hall light or the light-bulbs are being removed from the house, take a deep breath and close your eyes.
This tends to be 90% of people's day in a nut shell. Especially if you are a fast moving family with children. Life is whiplash. No we can't find a quiet moment to ourselves. They are few and farm between. Yet we have no problem putting on our super hero capes and try to fly off until the sunset of glory all the while accidently flying too close to a fan and then our cape gets stuck and starts to strangle us like a baby butterfly that doesn’t want to morph yet. We get asked can you pick this up from the store? Do you mind dropping off my kid too for baseball practice? Can you watch my 4 dogs while I’m away for the weekend? We say yes to everything. Put down your yes face people and start learning to set boundaries and that it’s ok to say no without feeling this overwhelming pile of build fall onto our backs. We are not saying no because we are wanting to be cruel and we enjoy watching you suffer. We are saying no because we are about to crack and don’t want to end up the next viral face that showers over facebook of a crazy lady who looses her cool in line at Walmart because the clerk told her it would cost 10 cents to purchase a shopping bag. We don’t want this! It ain’t pretty people. Setting boundaries is safe and self loving and we have to start doing it. Because if we don’t we will end up that crazy lady at Walmart. No doubt about it.
Self care should be a daily regimen. For me it’s always bed time. The lotions, the new PJ’s, the creams, the shower, the blow drying, the foot creams and extra fuzzy socks, the candles, the sprays. It’s the whole act of winding down for the day that is everything to me. We can still apply self care throughout our day also. Even during a hectic work day we can find 5 minutes to walk outside, sit down somewhere and just exist in silence for 5 minutes. Gather our selves.
Self care can mean many things:
*Drinking lots of water
*Finding peace in music or an audio book while traveling in the car
*Enforcing “quiet time” in the morning with a house full of kids all getting ready at once
*Meditation or clearing your mind
*Daily routine that’s YOURS and YOURS only
*Hygiene (Take that long shower not just because you stink but because you deserve it)
The reality is these are all basic and very simply things to do. It’s up to us whether or not to make the choice to follow through with them. And if we aren’t going to love our selves how can we expect anyone else to love us? We have to love ourselves first and care for ourselves and set those boundaries. I will personally mail you caution tape to arrange around the boundaries you need to set. Open the roll and start tagging off areas of your life where you need to say “CAUTION NO ACCESS”. This is ok and healthy. It’s ok to be a hot MS, but know your limits. Love yourself for goodness sakes.